Posts Tagged ‘ videogames ’

In Communicado

Hey All!  I hope that your weekend has been relaxing, and your upcoming week will be moving along splendidly.  Mine is shaping up to be interesting, to say the least.  Lately, I have been back in the rhythm of learning and doing new things on a fairly regular basis, and it feels fantastic!

One end for talking, the other for LISTENING.

This week, I got an email from Chris Brogan like I usually do on Sunday mornings, and its focus was on something that I continually strive to be better at:  Communication.  You may remember that I shamelessly plugged Chris’ company (Human Business Works) once before, and as before, I am not being paid in any fashion to promote his products.  The guy just puts amazing content into my email box for free, and I wanted you to know.  This is an example of great stuff spreading by word of mouth.

This morning’s newsletter talked about communication in a very interesting way.  Actually, the message of this morning’s “discussion,” as it were, was more along the lines of, “If you share/repost/reblog someone’s stuff, give them credit for it because it’s the awesome thing to do,” but here’s what I took from it:

This guy  puts some great content on Twitter (a site I rarely use to post 147 characters of useless information about my lunch), and Chris linked to it.  I clicked, and found something really interesting–which is the focus of my own message today.

As I read down the list of his Ten Commandments Of Conversation, I couldn’t help but nod my head.  I cannot tell you how many folks I come across whose ultimate goal is to convince me of a particular political idea, or complain about something, or dream out loud about things they may or may not ever do, or tell me every last detail of the way their first love ended, even if it was twenty years ago.  I used to think that everyone found what I had to say interesting, until I began to realize that if I’m talking to someone and thinking about other things, they must have been thinking that about some of the things I was saying to them.  In fact, I’ll never forget once when I was in college, I was catching up with my brother one night on the phone, and he cut me off with a, “Dude, get to the point.”

The truth is that when you communicate with someone, it would be helpful to imagine that you can only communicate your message to that person in writing.  Can you imagine how long a rant of yours would take to literally write out on a piece of paper?  You wouldn’t bother.  You’ll sit there and ponder for a second what your message really is, so that you can get it down on paper in (something close to) the least amount of words it will take you to.  Speak as if you were writing, and you will train yourself to hone the message you are trying to convey down to the simplest, most essential points.

You may feel it, but resist it. Smile the whole time. It goes a looooong way!

Combine this technique with the other Commandments (by using your one mouth half as much as your two ears) and people will walk away from a conversation with you with fond memories in their head, and not even give it a thought as to why.  I’ve had people talk “at” me for upwards of 45 minutes, and the entire time, I am the one coaching the conversation along.  I’ll ask pointed questions, get them to tell me about the things that matter most to them–family, home life, pets, jobs, egos, goals, how they’re getting ahead…I’m telling you, some of these folks greet me very fondly on a regular basis, and they don’t know hardly a thing about me.  Why?  For no other reason than they haven’t taken the time to ask.

It feels great when someone wants to know things about you, doesn’t it?  Well, if your goal is to help those around you to be more comfortable in your presence, just ask questionsand actually listen to the answers.  Remember them for future reference.  In fact, if you really want to get crazy with it, you can do what Bill Clinton (one of the best networkers of our time) did and keep track of those you meet.  It doesn’t even matter if this person bores you to no end–if their only interaction with you induces happy chemicals in their head, they will remember you fondly when they get promoted from newbie desk jockey to branch manager.  Whether you know it or not, you guide every person, every day into the place in your life that you want them.  If you want to get ahead, guide those people into a place that makes them feel great about you.  The rest will work itself out.

The point is that everyone you meet is judging you.  Your face, your body, your clothes, your breath, your skills…they are making judgments on every single little signal that comes through when you communicate with them.  Your job is to convince them that you are worth every second of their time (and you are.)  It’s ironic that the easiest way to do that is to get them talking about themselves, but ignore the irony and focus on the fact that it works.  You’ll be happy that you did.

So…who’s got troubles with those around you?  Caustic people?  The guy with terrible breath?  The guy/gal who wears things to work that no one has any business wearing to work?  The person who dominates every conversation?  The condescending/micromanaging/unconfident/overly-involved-in-your-personal-life/lackadaisical boss?  If you’d like an opinion on how to handle certain people, I’m sure anyone reading here will be happy to help.  We only want the best for you, so if you need a hand with a certain situation, feel free to comment here.  The advice may (or may not) be backed up by PhD graduates, but either way, it’s free!

Here’s to a great week!

Winter’s Doldrums…

I used to think that Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD) was a bunch of excuses for why lazy, whiny people aren’t happy during the winter.  I’m sure there are all kinds of studies which make SAD a legitimate condition–a lack of sunlight produces a lack of Vitamin D which somehow affects the dopamine levels in your head, for example–but my goal here is not to prove or disprove it.  I know exactly what causes my irritability and frustration levels to go up, and my patience level to go down, each year around this time.  I’m working to change these factors (or cope with them), but here it is.

My Dad’s been gone for a couple of years now, and it still hurts during this time of the year–his birthday is November 28th.  He would have been 68 in a few days here.  As it gets colder and greyer out each year around this time, I am constantly reminded that his birthday is in November, he won’t be there at Christmas in December, and he passed away in January (the 8th).  This part of the year more or less sucks for me (and my siblings and Mom), and that’s why.

There are other things that happen each year that don’t help things much–like rarely being able to make it home for Thanksgiving, and always having to beg, borrow, and steal for time off from work around Christmas–but these are things that will change as my career changes, at least.  This year, I’m merely frustrated at our financial situation because we can’t sustain taking two weeks off around the holidays to be with family (who can, these days?)…that time is so precious to us that it is Christmas gift enough just to give our families a hug in person.  But again, I have hope that my efforts this year will change that for next year.  It’s one thing to lack money, but another entirely to lack optimism. 

I guess it’s mere coincidence that Dad’s months of birth and death make a sandwich with Christmas, but it’s why SAD is true for me, at least.  I know that all of you have painful anniversaries and memories that are tied to the calendar in some way, and it occurs to me that SAD is a real thing, no matter what time of year it happens to you.  When is your SAD season?  I appreciate you listening to me, and if you decide to share, I promise to listen to you.

Old Man Winter’s A-Comin’!

Old fuel–the sludge is on the bottom.

Hey folks, it’s finally getting to be my favorite weather outside–what my friends and I have called “HoodieWeather” for as long as I can remember.  Well, quick on the heels of Autumn is going to be Winter which, depending on your geographical area, will entail cooler (or colder) temperatures at the very least, and at worst, an emergency trip to the Home Depot for shovels, snowblowers, and generators when a good blizzard comes through and locks up normal life for a few days or a week.

Well, are you prepared to deal with winter this year?  Or with a crazy storm, if it comes through?

First, if you don’t have a generator, get one.  When all else fails, a source of electricity is a life-saver.  If you have the space, get two of them, and the next time your whole neighborhood is in the dark, you could probably find someone to rent your spare to.  Do this enough times, and it shouldn’t take five years to pay itself off!  If you already have a generator–write this down, it’s important–chances are good that it’s been sitting all year in your shed or garage, untouched.  The problem with this is that the gasoline has probably begun to deteriorate into a sloppy, slimy gel at the bottom of the tank.  This will clog your fuel injectors, and prevent your motor from ever getting started when you need it most.  Take your generator out, bring it back to life, and run it a few times now, while you have the time to figure things out if it won’t start.  Engines like to run, so knock the cobwebs out of yours now!

 

Second, get your furnace a tune-up.  You can replace the filter yourself, but get someone out to your home to give your furnace a thorough inspection.  The last thing you’ll want to have to deal with is losing your home’s heat on the coldest night of the entire year (which, as Murphy’s Law states, is exactly when it will happen).

Not the Porsche!

Third, check on your water pipes.  When your pipes aren’t insulated correctly, they can freeze–and when they freeze, they can burst.  Who needs to deal with a near-freezing lake in their basement?  And actually–to add to that point, it wouldn’t hurt you to know where your main system water shutoff valves are located.  You’ll save yourself time and energy simply by knowing where these are, because there’s a fair amount of panic involved when a pipe bursts, and every second the valve is open can cost you 20 or 30 extra minutes of cleaning up after a gusher.

Do the same with your gas shutoff valve, too–any leak is cause for immediate evacuation, and not knowing where the valve is could cost you dearly when the temperature in your home drops, and your furnace decides to try to kick on.  BOOM! Here’s an easy way to find both of them.

 

There is still plenty of time to get these things done–get after them now, and you’ll thank yourself later.  A little preparation goes a looooong way!

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