“Weddings Are Always More Fun…”

Who knows the last half of the headline’s sentence?

I suppose it would depend upon the demographics of my constituency to know the answer; for anyone who isn’t married already, the sentiment goes, “Weddings are always more fun…when they aren’t your own.”Image

It might sound crass, or dismissive of your spouse to say that — after all, who could talk down about the (supposed) happiest day of their lives??  

Of course, everyone’s wedding day experience is a little different, but Alli and I have just rounded 4 years together, and we just returned from a wonderful family wedding.  if you have executed a wedding celebration in America in the last two or three decades, you know a few things:  

1.)  Costs never seem to drop.  You need to secure a church (if you will use one), and you need to make sure that wherever you decide to have the reception is open that day, too.  You also need to book some kind of transportation (limos or party buses, usually), a photographer and/or videographer, a DJ, and to rent or buy tuxes and dresses for everyone in the wedding party.  (Clothing costs are often left to the wedding party participants, but still, their costs never seem to go down.)  My wife and I spent nearly $500 on wedding invitations alone.  

2.)  Seating courtesies at the reception go a long way.  It’s silly, really, but the fact is that you’ll have as many personalities attending your wedding as you will details to worry about when planning it.  College kids all want to be seated nearest the bar, while anyone who is an alcoholic should be nowhere within sight of it; the single people will enjoy being seated together, siblings who get along will enjoy the time together, siblings who don’t will enjoy the time apart, and we can’t sit Uncle Tommy anywhere near Aunt Gina, even though they’ve been divorced for 15 years.  It’s a big balancing act, and it is made all the more complicated because every single person in attendance is emotionally invested in either the bride or the groom.  

3.)  The organization factor.  There are a lot of moving parts, and every detail is important and must be attended to.  Everything from where the photographer will meet you for pictures near the lake at a specific time, to making sure someone is in charge of keeping the box with the envelopes from walking off.  Logistically, it’s perfectly doable, but not uncomplicated.  

4.)  One other (relatively minor) thing to consider is everyone’s food preference during dinner — or at the very least, considerations for food allergies or those who are vegetarian or vegan.

There are about a thousand decisions to be made — many of them jointly — and it really becomes a test of how well two (or more) people can work together to get the whole thing done.  There are horror stories abound of bridezillas, crazy mother in-laws, and consummate drama-creators during the planning and having of a wedding, and it is definitely a time when peoples’ true colors and opinions come out.

I feel very lucky to have had a pretty smooth experience with our wedding (zero drama to be had anywhere, and lots of love during the celebration), but it’s almost universal:  Every wedding you attend after your own — the ones where you have no obligation to take pictures, rent a tux, or do anything other than give a gift, enjoy everyone’s company, and dance — will make you look at your spouse and go, “Thank God we don’t have to worry about this anymore!” 

  1. I agree–weddings are much more fun when you aren’t the one tying that knot. That said, Rach and I had an amazing wedding. My wedding has certainly gone down as ONE of the happiest days of my life. Let’s face it: You really only have all of your friends in family in the room twice, and the second time you aren’t around to enjoy it. 😉

    • K-Dub
    • June 19th, 2013

    Agree for the most part- though I did get to be best man once when the Bride and Groom decided to arrive 3 hours late to their own wedding- got real interesting organizing that.

    • Good lord! I’ll bet their guests were none too happy…

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